Sonic in a closet
by The anonymus elmo
Summary: Sonic and his friends get trapped in a closet. Humor will insue. Horrible summary so read.
1. Chapter 1

**Sonic in a closet**

**OK, this is my first sonic fic, so go easy on me**

So let me see it was Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, Big, Cream, Vector, Espio, and Charmy. Everyone is sitting there in Sonic's house watching the Boondocks** (that's the show)** in Sonic's mansion. Yes, being a hero has its advantages. And when he's not saving the world or kissing babies Sonic is here. Everyone is laughing except Shadow and Cream.

"Hmph. Little kids cursing, an abusive grandfather that is constantly trying to pick up women, and a black guy that hates his own people. What's next, a sponge that lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, his neighbor that hates him, his best friend starfish, while he works at a fast food restaurant for his money hungry boss who's a crab and his daughter who's a whale? I don't think so. This is pathetic." Shadow said, snatching the remote away from Sonic, and changing it to Saw 2." (I couldn't sleep for three weeks after that movie.)

"Ahhhh! It burns." Sonic said, running to the closet in the next room. He is followed by Tails and Amy.

"Hmph. Movies like this don't scare me. I'm the guardian of the friggin master emerald. I've seen nastier things like, Rouge for instance." As soon as Rouge is about to make him not have any children, Knuckles gets scared and runs to the closet.

"COME BACK YOU DAMN ECHINDA!" Rouge yelled, chasing him into the closet

"I can't believe that two children and an idiot have stayed longer than "the world's fastest hedgehog" Oh yeah, the crocodile and the chameleon are still here as well." As he said that, the two leaders of the chaotixs went into the closet as well.

"Pathetic. Two children are braver than people twice their age. Isn't that right Cream and Charmy?"

Shadow looks around to notice that everyone is gone

He then decides what the heck, nothing else to do, so goes in the closet with everyone else.

Inside the closet, everyone is hot, cramped, and moving around. Everyone is silent until…

"Why are we in here?" Rouge asked

"To make out." Everyone then turns to look at Knuckles. "Sorry, I was in the moment"

"Well, Sonic didn't want to watch the movie, so he into this closet. Me and Amy always being his yes men had to come along, Knuckles was trying to get away from Rouge, and Rouge was chasing Knuckles. Big came in because well…he's an idiot. The Chaotixs and Shadow came in here to be with everyone else, and Cream mother only lets her watch early childhood stuff, Even though she's like nine." Tails said, being the know it all that he is.

"How do you know all this?" Sonic said

"I have no life" Tails said "Come to think of it, none of us do"

"…Anyway, the movie is over, so we can all get out" Shadow said. Small spaces made him uncomfortable, especially with such a mixed group. He tried to unlock the door, but it wouldn't open. "Sonic it's not coming unlocked" Shadow said, still trying to unlock it

"Oh yeah that's right" Sonic said

"What?" Said Knuckles, also ready to get out

"The door only opens from the outside" Sonic said

"So you mean to tell me I'm stuck in here with a faker hedgehog, Big, and some other lames" Shadow said, now tugging at the door.

"Yeah pretty much" Sonic said

"Is there anyway that we can get out?" Rouge asked

"This happened to me once. I forgot how I got out though." At that exact moment, Tails started to strangle Sonic, and Shadow threw a boot at him.

"Looks like we'll be here for a while" Rouge said. The others nodded in agreement

**And that's the first chapter to this story. I gonna need like, two OC's soon. Not now I don't think but soon. I'll tell you when** **I need them though. Anyway, review**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic. If I did, I certainly wouldn't let 4kids show it. Now read**

After about 30 minutes if trying to get out, everybody took a rest. It got even hotter, Big's fatass took up a lot of room, and everybody was wondering who would be eaten first. Just as it got quiet, Sonic started randomly singing…

"WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T HURT ME, NO MORE…"

Knuckles also joined in because he felt alone

"(dun dun dun) BABY DON'T HURT ME (dum dum dun dun) BABY DON'T HURT ME, (dum dum dun dun) NO MORE…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP" Shadow yelled Andy Milinokis style. They both instantly shut up. They knew to never mess with a black hedgehog. Finally it was quiet, until once again…

"Won't we run out of air in here" Rouge asked. Everyone then looked at tails.

"Well…um…I don't know" Tails said, looking down at his feet. Everyone then started to panic, and Knuckles was in the process of committing suicide with a banjo.

"WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?" Shadow yelled

"Shadow, your frikin 50 years old and immortal. You survived two crashes from earth for Pete-sake. Suck it up bitch" Rouge said threateningly. Shadow then hid under one of Big's jelly rolls.

"Besides, everyone knows Jimmy Neutron said you couldn't run out of air in the closet" Cream said. People then started to praise Cream, give boot sacrifices, a peace offering was almost made by Shadow and Sonic, and Rouge almost gave up prostitution over this new found information. Some people didn't like the smart Cream though…

"This is as bad as Shadows new game" Sonic said (well old but new)

"WHAT? Are you f'ing kidding me? Everything after SA2 was horrid. Sonic Heroes was for dead babies." Shadow said

"But your game is after SA2. The only reason Sega gave you a gun is to promote animal abuse, and to "try" to a get a more mature audience, and still got the same six year olds. I mean, the only reason people actually buy the game is to see more of Rouge's prostitution." Sonic said

"Yeah well…you're ugly." Shadow said

"At least I don't blend in with my surroundings" Sonic said

"Oh hell naw…A black joke. That's it!" Shadow said, pouncing on Sonic. They both fought until the Chaotix broke it up. (It's about time that they got in the story)

"You guys need to chill" Said Espio

"Well tell him not to be dissin my people" Shadow said

"That's it. Sonic you go to that corner of the closet, Shadow you go to the other corner" Vector said demandingly

"You can't make me do that. It's my closet." Sonic said

"Yeah and im black" Shadow said. Vector then made Bigs jelly rolls talk about having sex. Sonic instantly goes to the corner of the closet and Shadow was about to kill himself, but reassured himself of the stuff he's going to do when he gets out. Most of them involved torturing Sonic, some knuckles and tails, molesting Rouge, then making Amy his baby momma.

"Just wait till I get out" Said Shadow: Once my source comes through, then you all will see"

**Uh oh. Shadow has plans to get out. Who is this source? Why is Big the butt of all my jokes? Will they ever find a way to get out or get out? Tune in next time, for Sonic in a closet!**

**Next time on sonic in a closet:**

"We can use this to get out!" Tails said

**Review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello all and welcome to chapter three of Sonic in a closet. Before we get to the story, I would like to address some things…**

**Tailsie- I'm black too. Trust me I know what you mean. I'll try to limit the black jokes.**

**Sonic & Amy 4-ever 3333- Your suggestion will be used. I sort of put a twist on it though…**

**Mya the hedgehog- Your OC will be used**

**Tazkol the master of emeral-Burn in hell**

**With all that said, read the story**

**Chapter 3**

Everybody was starting to settle down for the night. Luckily Tails was wearing a watch, and it said 11:00 o'clock

"Got to stay up four hours late today." Tails said "That's right count it. COUNT IT. FOUR. FOUR HOURS, IN WHICH I'LL…

"TAILS SHUT THE HELL UP!" Sonic yelled. Tails then lay on the floor and tried to make himself comfortable

"You can't hire a maid to clean your house and the closet, seeing as you have so much money to make Oprah look like a homeless man?" Shadow asked

"Well, I did have maids…" Sonic said, instantly going into a flashback

**Flashback**

This was when Sonic just got the house. He actually did have some sense, since Shadow lived with him and beat when there wasn't a new toilet roll. Anyway, Sonic hired some maids to keep the house clean. One of them was hot, one of them was fat, and the other was old and wrinkly like Big's jelly rolls. Well nothing ever got done because Sonic locked the fat one in the closet, made out with the hot one, and made the old one talk to a plant by making her think it was some old president, so then he wouldn't have any "distractions". Well in the end, the fat lady died, the old lady was given a lint ball to talk to, and the hot maid to this day is trying to get Sonic to pay child support.

**End Flashback**

"The moral to the story is, if you ever get a maid, make sure their ugly or old, because you'll find one day you might see an extremely ugly baby that makes Big's rolls look like Beyonce. Also to not hit and quit it" Sonic said

"Ok…well, goodnight." Said Shadow. Everyone was finally quiet, until Sonic started sleeptalking that is…

"Yes Jessica (Alba), we certainly would like you as vice president of playboy. But first but the whip cream in…"

Obviously, this was heard by none other than the pervert Amy Rose. She saw this as an opportunity tom take advantage of Sonic.

"Now's my chance" She thought. She instantly gets on top of Sonic, who obviously seems to like this, since he's dreaming. After about five minutes she gets off and finds out something is wrong…

"I could at least somewhat tell it was Sonic by his blue, but I can't see him at all. I hope this isn't…"

The figure gets up and starts talking.

"Wow. That was great. Even though all we did was lay on top of each other, I felt a connection."

The figure turns out to be none other than…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

(Here it comes)…

…

…

…

…

…

… (Very soon)

…

…

…

… Big!

"Big! What the hell! Eww…

"I held my breath the whole time. That's why (Wheeze) you didn't get sucked in or (wheeze) hit in the face by my man boobs. Now I can finally stop sucking it in.

As soon as he said that, people started getting pushed up to the wall. This caused one individual to wake up…

"Sonic, for the last time, I WONT HELP YOU ACT OUT ROOTS FOR THE CHRISTMAS PLAY!" This caused him to actually wake up and look around, seeing Big and Amy looking right at him.

"Uh…hello guys. Funny seeing you here" Shadow said, very embarrassed

"Could this day get any weirder? And what the hell is that noise!" Amy said, and then found the noise, coming from Knuckles ipod.

"We can use that to get out!" Tails said, very happy

"Tails, how long have you been awake?" Amy asked

"To see you and Big do some stuff, and Shadow yell out something about Roots. Anyway, if I rewire that ipod, we could possibly contact someone." Tails said. As soon as tails did that, which took about two minutes, he made it find the nearest signal to contact someone. They finally found a signal…but not the one their looking for…

**(CLIFFY. Jk keep going)**

"May I take your order" Said some random guy

"Hey Rick this is Big. Tonight I'll have 8 #2's, 5 #7's, 3 #9's, a small salad, a diet coke, and fries. No what, change that to 2 #3's…"

"Big you idiotic fat sack of crap SHUT UP. Anyway, we're stuck in a closet and we need help. Please call…" But before Tails could finish his sentence, the battery instantly died.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shadow yelled, which then caused everybody else to wake up. Then suddenly and randomly, the closet door opens and standing there is a pretty police officer

"My name is officer Mya. I'm here to rescue you…" But then she instantly tripped over Big's fat that he forgot to tuck into his belt and then fell in the closet with the gang.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow." Rouge said. Everybody then went back to sleep, not caring about anything. Once everybody is asleep, Shadow says...

"To you a damn long time" Shadow says to Mya

**And now we know who Shadows source is. Too bad she's stuck in the closet with them. Anyway, What's their plan? Why did the Chaotix appear once in the story? Find out next time on…Sonic in a closet! P.S.-Whatever sicko actually thinks Big and Amy can go together puts puppies and kittens in a bag and throws them down stairs.**

**Review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Time for my addresses…**

**DragonBreath1- sorry, but big sorta involves a major part in my story. So I have to be hard on him.**

**That's it for today. Now for the story!**

The gang finally awoke from sunlight shining right under the door. Everybody was cranky, except one individual who was a loser…

"What a beautiful day. Even though we're all stuck in a closet, I can see that ant in the corner humping that other ant is a good sign…"

This voice was none other than the rabbit high on helium cream the rabbit. "Mr. Sonic"

Cream asked "Will we ever get out of here?"

"Well Cream, my answer is yes, but if we don't get out of here, I'll make sure that you're the first one eaten"

Gee, thanks Mr. Sonic" Cream said, very oblivious

"And on a less serious note, who the hell are you!" Sonic said, looking at Mya

"I'm officer Mya. I'm a take charge kind of girl who knows her way around the the block pretty well." She said

"More like over the fence" Knuckles said to Sonic and Shadow. They both go into muffled giggles. Mya suddenly turned her attention to Knuckles

"What was that red-head? You got something to say you oversized Zit? Maybe my whip can make you talk."

"Officers can't have whips" Mya then pulls it out, smacks Knux across the face with it, leaving him and his manhood on the ground

"Got anything else to say?" Knuckles nodded his head. "Good. Now I want you to clean this floor…with your buttcheecks." Knuckles instantly gets to work, not saying a word.

"Anybody else got something else to say?" Everybody else nodded in unison. "Good. Now we should try to find a way to get out of here" She then takes out her whip, smacks Knuckles because she felt like it, then ordered tails to make something.

"But there's not really anything to make anything with" Tails said "It's only a rubber glove, a toothpick, a boot, a coat hanger, and billions of dollars in unmarked bills." Tails said

"That will have to do" Mya said "Now all we have to do is…wait, where did the money just go?" Everybody then looked at Shadow, then Mya, then Rouge, and Knuckles because he's an idiot.

"So we narrowed it down to four people." Sonic said, looking at the four of them

"Sonic, you just picked us because I'm black, Mya is Mexican, Rouge is a hooker, and tries to act black and listens to rap" Shadow said

"Let the questioning begin!" Sonic said "Shadow, if you didn't steal the money, then why are your shoes so big?"

"Because…I have all these kinds of foot diseases" Shadow said, embarrassed like.

"And Mya, everybody knows that you own an unsuccessful lawn mowing business" Sonic said

"No I don't…You just made that up you racist piece of crap." She said, very offended

"And Rouge, everybody knows about your 80 something children all over the world" Sonic said

"Sonic, I've never had sex before" Rouge said, and in the background, you could hear Knuckles breathe a sign of relief.

"Then why dress as a hooker?" Sonic asked

"Because the perverts that make our game have no lives and make love to their hands off pixels" She said

"And finally…Knuckles. Everybody knows how much you want to be black. You know what they say, "Goodbye fried rice, Hello fried chicken." Have you ever had fried chicken before?"

"Yes" Knuckles said "But what does that have to with anyth…"

"Which has just led me to whose guilty" Sonic said, cutting Knuckles off "But before that, Big, please move out of the way of the sun, I need light." Sonic said. Big then moves, and right behind him is all the money, except it's about $100.00 now.

"Big, did you do something with all the money" Tails asked

"Oh, that wasn't a light salad?" Big said. Everybody then pounced on Big, because his stupidity has reached an all time low (**He can't get any stupider, can he?)**

**(About 2 hours later)**

Everybody is now eating. Big is still alive, but at the moment they were about to kill him, the annoying piece of crap froggy popped out, and then they had frog legs. Then they cut off Big's tail and ate that too. Sonic was about to be eaten, but since everybody thought he might remember how to get out, and because Shadow would have killed everyone if didn't have just one person to beat, they decided to keep him.

"Man I'm stuffed. This is almost as good as taco bell" Sonic said

"Shouldn't we kill him?" Amy said, pointing at the bound and gagged Big. Before anyone could answer, the Chaotix answered

"Naw, we my need to fry up his blubber" Vector said

"Or for warmth" Espio said

"Or maybe we ca dip him in sugar, eat him, drink mountain dews while eating him, then eat some Krispy Kream doughnut's " Charmy said, getting knives ready and flying in circles. **(I know, sugar high)**

"Charmy, I think its time to come out the closet." Vector said. Everybody then shot death glares at Vector, and then Vector hid in the corner. Everybody then finished the scraps and took turns beating Sonic.

**That's chapter four. I tried to make it as long as I could. I hope you all liked it. Anyway, review**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**Something to address…**

**Dandylions-Sorry I've got all the O.C's I need**

**And I think that's it. Now it's Time for the story.**

Everyone was bored, and they didn't want to eat the rest of Big yet, so they just sat there, waiting for something, like Mya showing a legitimate green card, or Big proving he didn't steal those Jenny Craig dinners. So they just sat there and waited, until Big accidentally rolled over the Chaotix, thus killing them. (**They didn't really serve a purpose to the story, so I had to cut them off)** As soon as they untied the ropes off Big and pushed him off them (mostly Knuckles), they found them crushed and dead.

"Aren't we susspossed to say something?" Amy asked

"I will" Knuckles said, clearing his throat "Chuck Norris owns your soul" he said

"Mr.T will own Chuck Norris and his so called "Karate Commando's" Shadow said

"Hey, let's not forget about James Woods" Sonic said, getting confused looks from everyone including the still retarded Tails and the Mexican and Cream.

"Anyways, I bet the one you fancy that Chuck Norris will own Mr.T" Knuckles said

"I also bet the one you fancy that Mr.T owns Chuck Norris." Shadow said

"Ok then. Ready…GO!" Knuckles said, and they started fighting each other. It was a good fist-fight, until Knuckles roundhouse kicked Shadow in the face, and Shadow did something from the A-team. Finally, after an intense battle, Knuckles gathered the power rings and called on Captain Planet, causing a tree to grow right under Shadow going into his…family jewels. Knuckles won, and then stood on Shadow.

"This gives me owning terms over you" Knuckles said. It was obviously the wrong thing to say to a black hedgehog, which sent him into a fit a rage, beating Knuckles into a near death experience. Luckily, since Amy was so nice, she fixed up Knuckles into a half near death experience.

"Before I beat you anymore, who is it?" Shadow asked

"It…was…A…A…"then Knuckles instantly passed out. Everyone then looked at Amy.

"WHAT?" Amy yelled, as surprised as I am right now. "I don't like Knuckles, well Shadow is kinda hot, but I have no feelings for Knuckles what so ever. This won't work at all."

"Well you don't have to worry about that, seeing as your mine now." Shadow said, licking his lips.

"But this isn't right, I love Sonic" Amy said, looking at Sonic

"Well, a bet's a bet." Sonic said, looking somewhat disappointed

"But…no! Sonic!" Amy yelled, before getting dragged to the other side of the closet, into the dark. You could now not see bright pink anymore, but just pure darkness

"You know" Tails said, approaching Sonic "I might be a retard, but you just let the only girl that might have loved you for your stupidity and semi-kindness." He said

"Thanks retard. Everyone knows you didn't really think of that, but anyway, I'm going to rescue her." Sonic said

"What? That's impossible. You can't do it alone." Tails said

"That's why I've got the electrical shock thingies doctors use to wake him up, give Rouge money for help and sex along the way, Mya can finally get paid in real money instead of pesos if we pull this off, and we need Cream's genius." Sonic said

"But, what about me, the true genius?" Tails asked

"Quit joking around Tails. I mean geez, a tree stump holding a dead baby can aid me better than you. Anyway, I need you to stay here and help the fat sack of crap bounce up against the wall to break us out. If we pull this off, we'll be bigger than Tom Jones." Sonic said

"Fine. Whatever." Tails said, totally pissed off

"First, I'll wake up Knuckles, touch Mya's rack, then we'll leave. In that order." Sonic said

**A plan has been made. First to get Amy, then to get out. Will they actually get out? Will Big being a fat waste a gelatinous space actually come in handy? What will become of Amy and Shadow? Get ready for a mind blowing Chapter 6. It will blow you mind so much that it will want to make you watch something on the new G4 channel. Sorry it wasn't a very long chapter. Please review for me, and not only will I be happy, but might update sooner. Thanks and Review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Yeah I've decided to try to update weekly. Yeah, it brings joy to my heart too. Anyway, let's see if I have to address anything…**

…**wow nothing to address. Well then it time for the story!111111!111!11**

First Sonic told the retard aka Tails to help him wake up Knuckles. Let's see how this goes.

"Ok Tails, to make the shock more effective, bring me some water." Sonic said

"Sonic I can't cause…we're in a closet" Tails said

"Oh well. We'll just spit on him. It should have the same effect" Sonic said

"Are you stupid! That will do nothing except make him sticky and gross" Tails said

"SHUT UP RETARD!" Sonic said. Then backhanded him into a wall "When I ask for your opinion, I'll but your helmets and kneepads on, push you down some stairs, then beat it from you. It will be worse than falling up the stairs, running into a park car, putting your fingers in an electrical socket, or whatever else you retards do."

Tails then got up, smacked Sonic to the ground, and then kicked him in the face. "Sonic, for the last 15 years or something, I've been right beside you on your balls. This time it's different. I'm going to find Shadow, and see what he was going to do to Amy."

"Why bother bother, the sicko is probably going to video tape it anyway" Sonic said

"I want to see it IN PERSON!" Tails said, then walked into the darkness were Shadow went. Sonic then stood there shocked at what happened, then fell on the ground. Rouge and Mya then went over to talk to him.

"You know, he might have been a retard…" Rouge said

"And he might have clung to you like a baby kangaroo…" Mya said

"But you gotta get him back" They both said at the same time

" I…I…I guess your right. He was truly the only person that understood, even though he hits himself" Sonic said

"Sonic, the boys not retarded" Mya said

"Yeah, he built a mini laser to get us out using an old pootytang tape and toilet tissue" Rouge said

"Oh, I see. Well then, lets just go get them already" Sonic said. They all started to head to the darkness until Shadow instantly came out, dragging Amy and a mad Tails

"Shadow!" Sonic exclaimed, taking a fighting position "Give her back faker" Shadow then threw Amy at Sonic, who tackled him to the ground

"SONNIKKUU!" Amy yelled, falling on top of Sonic. She refused to get off of him, so Rouge and Mya "lifted" her off. Obviously she didn't like that, so they broke out into a fight, with Amy calling Rouge "an all day hoe" and Mya to "dry off your back". This pleased Sonic a lot, Shadow took pictures of it, and the retard thought of him and Cream like that when their older. They were finally done a half-hour later, which was when three nail polish containers that came from Sonic's direction, and then Sonic asked Shadow why he brought Amy back out.

"Well as soon as we got in there, she started talking about how much better it would be if you were here. I just ignored it, then put the potato sack on as her, "clothing", if you must, then just got my "boys", ready in the background, for notes. Then she started complaining how I'm gonna make a sex tape with her and how my grandmother would be there, and random shit. So then I put tape on her mouth, but she licked off the sticky part, and then said stuff like how she wants you two to lose your virginities to each other and how she's gonna name your children Anic and Samy and stupid crazy stuff and how when they go to college the Viagra wont be working so you two will have to walk around the house naked and then…"

"I THINK WE GET IT!" Sonic yelled at Shadow, whose cheeks were extremely pink with embarrassment, and Amy must have hit magenta. Rouge could not have cried more, Shadow had no emotion on his face, Cream was confused and wanted her mom, Mya was trying to find leftover money to make a fake green card, Big was an idiot, Tails was still mad, and…I don't know about Knuckles.

"But then how did you get Tails back?" Sonic said, trying to change the subject

"Oh yeah that. When I was coming out, he was coming in. I told him to go back the other way. He tried to get past me, but then he ran into a wall and fell down some stairs. I wondered why his helmets or kneepads weren't on." Shadow said

"IM NOT A RETARD!" Tails yelled

"Retard" Someone yelled. This person was none other than the lovable Echidna none other than Knuckles.

"THERES WALDO!" Sonic yelled. Everyone, including the retard and Cream, gave Sonic confused looks

"Sorry I was in the moment" He said

"Knuckles how did you get better so quick?" Amy asked

"Well what happened was I was very weak until I found a mini laser. I used that to fix up my wounds and stuff and felt instantly better." Right after he said that, Rouge, Mya, Tails, and Sonic gave Knuckles ready to kill looks. "What's wrong?" Knuckles asked

"That laser…" Tails said

"…was to get us out" Sonic said, teeth gritted

"You mean we could have got out if the idiot Echidna hadn't of used it to make himself better?" Shadow asked, getting mad as well

"Yes" Tails and Sonic said

"Now guys, this isn't my fault. If I would have known…"

They all got closer and closer to Knuckles until they eventually backed into a corner.

"Guys…"

**That's chapter 6. At first when I looked at it it looked good, but now…I'll just say it could have been better. Oh well. Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Well im updating today and im gonna be gone on some overnight camp thing. Sorry for not updating sooner. Well I better address some things…**

**Mya-read this chapter you'll see one of them**

**DragonBreath-I dunno. Laser therapy or something like that.**

**OH yeah and when I was talking about chapter 6 being mind blowing, just read this chapter, which is also a chapter im proud of. Now read.**

As we left off, Knuckles had enraged the gang extremely and they were about to eat him then kill him. Shadow pulled out a 9mm, Amy pulled out her hammer, Tails put on his helmet, Mya got her whip ready, Cream made a teletubbies gun, Rouge out a "vibrator", and Sonic got out the accursed boot from chapter 1.

"NOT THE BOOT!1" Knuckles pleaded

"Yes Knuckles, everyone knows this boot has brought bad luck to your life" Sonic said, going into a flashback

**Flashback**

One day, Sonic let Knuckles spend the night at his house, because Knuckles "accidentally" burnt down his house. (He was seeing what was flammable in his house and what wasn't. I know an idiot.) Anyway, while he was over there, he went to get a midnight snack. As he was going up to his room, Knuckles tripped over a boot. He then swore loudly, and then kicked the boot away. He then headed up the stairs, but then randomly the boot came through the wall, knocking him back down the stairs, breaking both his legs. He then pulled himself up the stairs to his room. As he opened the door, a hooker came out, and then the boot came through the window, hitting him in the face knocking him out. In the morning, when Sonic went into his room, he saw Knuckles on the ground, bloody, and teeth missing.

"So was it good?" Sonic asked

**End Flashback**

"Wait a minute that never happened." Knuckles said

"My security cameras caught the whole thing." Sonic said "The only reason you don't remember is because you had another concussion freeing the animals from the zoo."

"Hey that only happened twice." Knuckles said

"Knuckles that was the fifth time this week." Sonic said "They still haven't found the peacocks."

"As much as the word "peacock" amuses me, I believe we have better things to attend to" Shadow said in a bored tone.

"Your right. Let's finish this" Mya said. Right as she stepped forward, Amy jumped right in front of everyone.

"You…must…DIE!" Amy yelled then started swinging her hammer at Knuckles. "I can't believe you like me" Amy said, disgusted

"Like you?' Knuckles said, dodging blows "Please I would have a better chance of me and Sonic" Knuckles said

"Yeah that didn't sound gay" Tails said. Everyone then looked at him, then went back to Amy and Knuckles

"But if it wasn't me, then who was it that you were gonna say?" Amy asked

"Oh yeah that. I was gonna say Angelina. Angelina Jolie. I mean she is uber hawt."

"Yeah that's true. Remember in the beginning of Mr. &Mrs. Smith? She was so hot I had to call Shadow over to beat me to cool me down, seeing as Shadow doesn't like girls." Sonic said

"Actually faker, I get way more girls than you. The only girls you have is the annoying one, Tails, and that drunk guy at Hooters" Shadow said

"Oh yeah? Well remember when we were at Burger King?" Sonic said, going into another flashback

"Sonic, that was McDonalds, and for the last time, IT WAS A TALKING RONALD MCDONALD STATUE!" Shadow yelled at Sonic, ruining the flashback

"Then why did the police come to break it up?" Sonic asked

"Because you went behind the counter and asked for a whopper with a large frosty, threw French fry oil at the manager, and then mooned people through the drive through window" Shadow said

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about it in front of the others" Sonic said

"IT WAS ON CNN IT WAS SO BIG!" Shadow yelled "THE ONLY WAY YOU COULDN'T FIND OUT IF YOU WERE TAILS!"

"IM NOT A RETARD!" Tails said. Shadow then threw tinker toys at Tails, told him this is America speak Spanish, and then went back to Sonic

"Um…aren't we forgetting something?" Sonic said to Shadow, pointing at Knuckles

"Oh yeah the idiot" Shadow said "Get ready to feel how you felt before when you were feeling bad"

"As much as that made sense, I agree" Sonic said, not wanting to get shot

"WAIT!" Someone yelled. This person was the hooker Rouge. She then flew over everyone, but Since the closet was so small she hit her head on the ceiling, then made a shelf containing Sonic action figures of the gang, with Amy in a maid outfit, and limited edition helmet on the Tails one, fall on her. She got hit hard, but strangely got up like everything was ok.

"You can't hurt him because well…this is kinda hard for me to say…but you better not touch him because…I LOVE HIM OK." Everyone then looked at Rouge shocked, for no one thought she would actually have the balls to say it in front of everyone.

**That's Chapter 7. The ending shocked me too. I was all like OMG!1. Anyways, I need some ideas for future Chapters because frankly, im running out of ideas, and also I need some ideas for Knuckles and Rouge too. Thanks, Review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Yes I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry. I feel depressed right now for some reason. Oh well. Also I had major writers block writing this chapter, so don't be surprised if you don't laugh. Time to address…**

**Shikamaru's Butterfly- Ill try to get Big back in the story if I can**

**That's it. Well, while I'm dying my hair black, read the story.**

Everyone was shocked. No one expected Rouge to say that. No one responded. Everyone just stood their, mouths open. The silence was broken when Shadow fainted. Everyone then turned their attention to him. (We'll get back to then in a minute. Trust me.)

"OH MY GOD! WHAT DO WE DO?" Mya yelled

"Don't worry, I got this" Sonic said, pulling put a giant baby thermometer out of no where

"Do you carry that around with you?" Knuckles asked

"Yes…No…Maybe" Sonic said. "Well this will tell us" Sonic said, then forced the thermometer up Shadow's butt. Shadow then instantly woke up, screaming so hard his balls came out his mouth. After the pain and getting it out, he then looked at Sonic.

"Sonic, how would you like to have TOES FOR TEETH" Shadow yelled, then stuck his foot straight up Sonic's ass. Sonic yelled in pain, and then Shadow slapped him in the back of the neck, so his cheeks wouldn't tense up, and Sonic could experience full pain. After an uncomfortable hour for not only Sonic, but also everyone else their at the time, (he was threatening them with a rake), he took his foot out of Sonic.

"First off I'm just gonna tell you to know your place. Second, I want you to be in a children's movie." Shadow said

"Ok" Sonic said weakly "It won't matter look at Sonic X"

"With Tim Allen" Shadow finished

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic yelled. He was at the point where he was going to suffocate himself with the boot.

"It's either that, or you and the dancing bear" Shadow said, getting a custard pie and a tube of lipstick out of nowhere.

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE POINT OF THE CHAPTER!" Rouge yelled "Thank you. Anyways, Knuckles I've always loved you. From the bottom of my heart. When I gaze into your eyes. I want to sit with you at some Fourth of July parade on some hill, watch the fireworks, the make love to you endlessly on that hill." Rouge said. Everyone just gave her blank stares, seeing as that none of them were prepared for that.

"Wow Rouge. To think all this time I wanted you for your body, I really truly see for the first time that you are a caring sensitive person. I want you and your body" Knuckles said, and with that Rouge and him started to passionately make-out. Of course this pleased Shadow who was video taping it.

"You know Sonic" Amy said, starting to walk towards him, and then started playing with his quills "Maybe you and me one day could…" And started to whisper endlessly into his ear. Sonic went from disgusted, curious, nail-biting, happy, and finally back to normal.

"As much as I enjoy seeing…any girl in that position, I can't, for my reasons…" Sonic said, with shifty eyes

"Why?" Amy asked, lip poked out

"Because once, I saw this fat girl skinny dipping, and yes, she was fugly, and that has damaged me for life." Sonic said

"In other words" Shadow said, still video taping "He can't get laid because he's afraid of girls, and goes home and watches pootytang all day"

"You know what" Sonic said, angry "I'm tired of you. You're worse than David Hasslehoff becoming a rapper. (He really is becoming a rapper)

"And yet he'll still be better at life than you" Shadow said "Hassle the Hoff. Who comes up with a name like that?"

"j00r mom" Sonic said

"On roids" Knuckles answered, still making out with Rouge

"You know what, I don't need you all, go screw yourself's" Shadow said, walked to the door, and opened it. Outside was a land with many rainbows, ponies, unicorns, fairies, and all the stuff you'll find in San Francisco. (Only some people will get this I bet). Shadow then shrugged it off, since he was and emo and only thought of cutting himself and raping a certain hedgehog (this hedgehog will not be named until possibly later in the story). Everyone except Rouge and Knuckles looked at Shadow mad, then he pulled out the rake and everyone went back to what they were doing. Sonic and Shadow placed bets on Knuckles and Rouge on who would hit their "moment" first. Amy was plotting something that involved spray on butter and Sonic, Cream was trying to teach Tails how to walk, Mya was watching Cream and Tails, and Big was eating the sock in his mouth. They wondered if anything else would happen, so then Sonic and Shadow placed another bet, which was…who can pee up the wall the highest. They then prepared for the contest.

**Ugh. Writer's block. You gotta hate it. Anyways, I give credit to skitzoism for that idea. Anyways every chapter gets harder and harder to write. I wish I had an uncanny ability to write a funny chapter every time (coughsMecha Scorpioncoughs), but sadly, I don't, so I still just give you what I can. Just go ahead and tell me how it was. I know this chapter wasn't funny, so I will know what to expect I guess. Please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**THE EMO STAGE IS OVER!YAY! I'm finally out of my emo stage, so I'm not depressed anymore. And there is nothing to address, so its looks like TIME FOR THE STORY!**

Sonic and Shadow prepared for the contest. Amy tried to frisk Sonic to get him ready, but Sonic pulled out a tape of Shadow on the toilet. It was so violent, graphic, and revealing, that even HBO at 1:00 am couldn't show it. Amy got a second degree burn off the tape, and Sonic wasn't physically hurt, but as soon as he touched the tape, he crapped on himself, even though he had never seen it before in his life. Shadow readied himself the only he knew how to. He took out the biggest kitchen knife he had, and slit his wrist's, then put war paint on, and slit his cheeks as well. They both prepared themselves. Knuckles would be the official starter.

"Now when I undo Rouge's Bra, you all can begin" Knuckles said. This obviously had not pleased Rouge, who beat him like Ike on Tina Turner. But even before Rouge started to thrash Knuckles, Shadow was already recording on his camera.

"You now remember that I where the pants in this family." Rouge said to Knuckles, still angry. "I'll tell you all when to start. When I kick Knuckles in his Johnson, you all can begin. Ready, set…" Rouge said, winding up, as well as Sonic and Shadow getting ready. But this was stopped suddenly…

"WAIT!" Someone yelled. This was surprisingly the retard Tails.

"You all can't have this contest. Not only is it gross but…you all don't have anything to squirt with." As soon as he said that, he was instantly squirted by Sonic, and Tails fell over landing in boxes containing William Hung cd's.

"Shut up retard. That's why no one likes you because you take the fun out of everything." Sonic said

"Why you dirty motherf…" Tails said, the instantly flew into the box again

"Hey this is actually pretty fun." Shadow said, trying to aim again

"MY EYES! THEY BLEED FROM THE INSIDE!" Tails yelled, squirming around on the floor.

"Well I don't know about you all but I'm gonna hit the hay" Mya said with a yawn

"Don't you mean the dirt?" Sonic asked. A few moments later Sonic was on the ground in pain.

"We all might as well. Sonic, Shadow, you all can do this contest some other day. Let's get some sleep." Rouge said. Everyone then went to their respectable corners.

_At night…_

"Rouge listen. I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't mean to embarrass you like that…" Knuckles said, but was cut off by Rouge's fingers

"Knuckie don't strain yourself. I'm sorry about beating you to an inch of your life then attempted to castrate you" Rouge said. They both went into a kiss fest the remainder of the night.

_In another corner…_

Sonic was sleeping peacefully. He was dreaming about eating chilidogs out of Beyonce's mouth. He was instantly woken up by water thrown on him.

"What the…" Sonic said, and then found himself in chains with a bowling ball holding him down. He then looked up at a dark cloaked figure.

"Sonic" The dark figure said "I want you" The figure revealed itself to be Amy Rose. She was in black lingerie with leather snake boots and Mya's whip.

"Prepare for the wildest, roughest, sexiest ride of your life" Amy said very seductive, then went in for Sonic

"Oh crap…" Sonic said, trying to brace himself

_In another corner…_

Shadow and Mya strangely were in the same corner together. Shadow didn't want to be in the same room as her because he thought she was dirty, and Mya didn't want to be near Shadow because…he's Shadow. They both sat facing away from each other, in silence. Finally Mya said…

"Shadow why are you so mean to me? We were friends when I first cam to get you, but now we're not. I mean Sonic doesn't even get off as bad as I do." Mya said. She tried to reach out for Shadow but just found it was an assortment of shoes, red socks, and Star Wars action figures.

"Shadow?" Mya said, confused, then sat up to find him. She found him near his feet with his camera

"Oh yeah this is gold…HEY! MYA! OPEN YOUR LEGS BACK UP!" Shadow yelled, not realizing what he just said "Opps what I meant to say was…" Shadow said, then instantly got slapped. (It would have been the whip, but Amy "claimed" to have to teach a lesson to Sonic.) She then approached Shadow, and got in his face.

"Your lucky I think you cute, cause if your not, you would be dead right now." Mya said, then went to lie back down. Shadow was stunned by the whole event.

_In another corner…_

It was Tails, Cream, and Big in this corner. Tails was still talking to Cream, but facing Big.

"Cream" Tails said "No one like me. Is it because I listen to Radio Disney?"

"No Tails" Cream said "Its because everyone thinks you retarded, what ever that means."

"Cream, do you think I'm retarded?" Tails asked

"Tails what does that mean?" Cream asked

"Its when you repeatedly hit yourself and stick your fingers in an electrical socket." Tails said

"But Tails, I don't always hit myself and I only stick my fingers in the plug a few times. Does that make me a retard?" Cream asked

"No Cream, your actually very smart" Tails said

"Thank you Tails. Your smart too. Mr. Sonic just doesn't see it." Cream said. They both sat there for a minute, but then they started leaning towards each other. The only problem was Tails was facing Big's stomach, so then his belly button instantly engulfed Tails head in an instant, and started to suck him in. Cream opened her eyes when she didn't feel anything.

"Uh-oh" Cream said, and went to go get him out. Cream could tell a long night was ahead of them.

**That's chapter 9. Now that I'm out of my emo stage, I'm finally back to writing what I love. I wont be able to update for a while, because school start's for me next Monday. Chapter 10 will be a favorite of mines, btw. IT might not have as much randomness though. Well that's it for now, review.**

**P.S.-the 100th reviewer gets a cookie**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Yes I know what you all are thinking. "Let's kick his ass for not updating in so long." Well I'm sorry, a lot of stuff has been happening, but I'll try to update more soon. Hmm, what do I need to address…**

**Linds the stupid-hands you cookie**

**Everyone else can have an alternative, oatmeal raisin bran cookie. Throws them at everyone else Now time…for Chapter 10.**

Everyone else went back to sleep, except for one individual who was an outcast…

Shadow was sitting up in his corner, thinking about everything that happened that day. Rouge admitting love to Knuckles, opening the closet to some non-emo place, then Mya saying that she thought he was cute. Shadow thought of it as a long, weird, random day. He sighed, then looked at Mya. Beside Rouge, Mya was actually a fairly decent hedgehog. She had nice soft lavender hair (which Shadow felt), a good package (which Shadow felt and recorded him touching it) and had nice legs. He sat their, looking at her beauty, wishing was their any way for him to take a dip in her beauty. He laid his hand on her cheek (not that one you sicko's), and then started to get dirty thoughts, but tried to contain himself. Shadow tried his hardest to not do anything. He overcame his urges and controlled himself.

"Ahh…….." Shadow said. It actually felt like he was emptying all his bad thought and urges in some sort of tingling sensation. He then opened his eyes and instantly smelled something nasty. He noticed the smell, and the taste was the exact salty taste (O.O). He then looked down, hoping it didn't get on anyone or anything. Sadly, he was standing right over Mya when he…"expressed" himself, if you must. She was covered in it from the neck down.

"…Shit…" Shadow mumbled. He knew he had to make sure Mya didn't smell or taste anything or wonder why she was wet. Shadow knew he had to do this, or else his life, and manhood, would be destroyed. Shadow had to make sure she doesn't wake up. Finally, he got an idea to do it. He positioned himself behind Mya, and slowly nudged her awake. After about 10 minutes she finally woke up.

"Uhh...What time is it…" But soon instantly was cut off. She fell to the floor with a thud, making everyone stir in their sleep for a moment. Shadow had put her in the sleeper hole as soon as she woke up, knocking her out. Shadow knew he would hate himself for this later, but it was the only way. He then mentally (and physically if you know what I mean) prepared himself for what he was about to do. He then pulled off her skirt. She was wearing undergarments under that. When Shadow saw that, he instantly became bloodshot red in the face. He always saw that on TV, but never thought it would happen to him in real life. He was actually getting nervous. Shadow didn't really have a "moment", except on the Ark…

**Flashback**

Professor Gerald was walking into the main lab of the Ark, drinking his daily cup of coffee. As he walked into the lab, he saw something very disturbing. Black doom was taking very…"revealing" pictures of Maria. The Prof. didn't know how to respond at all. And there was Shadow, watching it all.

"DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you doing?!?!?! She's 15!!! Gerald said

"Funny, she said she was only 12" Doom said, sounding very disappointed.

"And Maria…how could you? What kind of impression will this give on Shadow?"

Gerald said, angry

"A very sexy one" Doom said. Gerald then stared blankly at Doom, and then ordered him to leave. Doom refused, then Gerald hit the airlock on Doom. Doom tumbled onto his comet and rode off, and swore that he'll be back in fifty years, and that his grandson will be fat. Gerald laughed on the comment.

"A family member of ours fat. HA. Our family is known for competent, healthy, good hearted people. To ever think someone related to me will be none of those. I'll go insane. Gerald said, walking out of the room.

**End Flashback**

Shadow wondered why he had that extremely weird and random flashback, seeing as he had to almost die to find out his past. Shadow thought about it for a minute, then went back to what he was doing. He then prepared to take her shirt off. As he was taking it off, Shadow wondered why he wasn't taking any advantage of her or recording any of this, Shadow figured he does want to do something that will be enjoyable before they die, seeing as he can't die so he went off to get his camera. For some reason, he found it near Sonic and Amy's corner of the closet. When he got over there, he saw Sonic sitting in chains with a g-string in his mouth. Sonic started to make noises to get Shadow's attention so he could take it out of his mouth, and Sonic instantly started to gasp for air.

"GACK!!!!!!!!" Sonic gasped "Shadow I'm so glad you came over here. Amy stole your camera and made me make a sex tape with her." Sonic said

"Oh yeah, I would never guessed by Mya's whip, you in chains, Amy in black lingerie, and the g-string in your mouth" Shadow said, obviously sarcastic.

"Yeah well she did. I kinda liked it…I mean it was the worst I ever had." Sonic said, starting to sweat

"Don't you mean the first?" Shadow asked

"…SHADDUP!!!" Sonic yelled. Luckily no one woke up. "Anyway, could you unchain me? These chains are chafing my uber-sexy skin" Sonic said

"Ok" Shadow said, smirking "But first, Sonic?"

"Yeah?" Sonic asked

"Your body is like a porta-potty" And then instantly pissed on Sonic's face. He then proceeded to crap on him, but thought that was too insane for a T rated story, even for him.

"Shadow, what the hell is your problem?!" Sonic yelled quietly at him

"Sonic, this is a perfect chance for me to take advantage of you current state" Shadow said "Suck it" Shadow said

"W-W-What??!?" Sonic said, about to cry

"I said suck it you little bitch" Shadow said, putting it near Sonic's mouth. Sonic then refused, then Shadow stuck it in his mouth. Sonic knew he had too, or else Shadow would make him do the Numa Numa dance. Sonic sucked it long and hard, so he could convince Shadow he was swallowing. After about 10 minutes of sucking, Shadow took it out of Sonic's mouth.

"How did it taste?" Shadow asked

Sonic threw up "Like shit" Sonic said, then threw up again

"Good. I got it all on camera too." Shadow said holding his camera. "It was on when I came over here."

"Dammit Amy…" Sonic said

"Now you'll have to do whatever I want you to do, unless you want this tape to get shown." Shadow said, smiling.

Not unless I destroy the camera and the tape." Sonic said, breathing heavily

"That's not gonna happen. This tape is under 24/7 guard. Now tomorrow, when everyone wakes up, Mya will be in a very awkward state. You're gonna take the blame for the state she'll be in. If not, you'll be in a worse state than the one your in" Shadow said "Remember the that's so 80's show? You'll be in that, and take a ride in a dishwasher." Shadow said

"You sick bastard" Sonic said

"And it only gets better from here. You get blamed, everyone comes to respect me more, and you get blamed and raped." Shadow said, smirking again. "I just have to do one more thing" Shadow said, then he left back to his side of the closet. He didn't come back until about 10 minutes later, this time without the camera.

"Everything is set now. Your about to be the biggest laughing stock in the world after this." Shadow said. HE then instantly looked at the door of the closet, and saw a little light from the sun coming from under it. He smiled, then went back to his part of the closet. He got the best 2 hours of sleep he ever got in his life. Then the light came in, and woke everyone up.

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!meows. Anyways, there's chapter 10. What surprises will the next chapter hold for us? It looks like I only know. Please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

…**Chapter 11 time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now read, because their was nothing to address**

Mya awoke from a well deserved rest. She thought about the events that happened the previous day, but then shook it off. She tried to stand up, but as soon as she turned over, she saw everyone surrounded by her.

"Guys whats going on…" But then noticed Shadow had his camera on and recording. She also noticed a slight breeze. She then looked down and noticed something that shocked her and made her want to go bi (O.O). She saw that she was completely naked. She then looked at everyone. Knuckles was in total shock, but had drool coming out of his mouth. Rouge tried to look away, but was in shock because Mya made Rouge's figure look anorexic. Tails didn't know what any of those things were, so he was bout to touch on of Mya's boobs, but Big then started to try to make Tails he neopet. Shadow was recording, rinsing, lubricating, all in one motion. Cream was still asleep, and Sonic and Amy were still asleep (wink wink).

"GACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mya yelled, then instantly turned to look for some to cover herself with. She covered herself with two rubber gloves and duck floatie.

"This turns me on so much…."Knuckles said. He was then instantly slapped by Rouge.

"I mean I think of you when I touch myself…" He was then once again slapped

"I mean…I beat my meat like it owes me money…." Once again, he was slapped.

"Beat it off who?" Rouge asked him, holding a butter knife

"Her know…I MEAN YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!" Knuckles said, saving his children and his pinky toes this time.

"That's better" Rouge said

"Wow she's pretty" Tails said

"HE LIKES GIRLS. IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Knuckles said, and stated break dancing, Shadow put down his camera and did the American hat dance around it. Rouge started performing stripper moves, and Tails got scared and started hitting himself.

"Guys what about me?" Mya asked "And where are my clothes?" Shadow then happily pointed at a corner of the room. Mya walked into the corner and ran into something. She then found Sonic in chains with a Sex toy in his mouth and Amy right next to him. Mya then found her clothes on top of Sonic. But when she ran into Sonic, he instantly woke up.

"FORREST GUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic yelled, instantly waking up. "Finally Mya please take these chains off me" She did, and then Sonic instantly did a backflip of a wall, and then gave Mya her clothes.

"How did they get over here?" Mya asked him. Sonic was about to tell her that this was all part of Shadow's sick twisted plan, but then Shadow came down from the ceiling hanging from cheese flavored dental floss. He then started showing Sonic pictures of himself cutting himself with a lemon. Sonic then started to get a nosebleed, and sucked it back up.

"Um I took them" Sonic said, weakly. He was then slapped.

"You pervert. I would expect something like that from Shadow, and Knuckles maybe, but Sonic, I thought you had it under control." Mya said, disgusted "And why do I smell like sperm?"

"Um well…" Sonic said, then looked at Shadow again, who was then holding up a picture of O.J. running from the police. Sonic then pissed on his socks, even though he wasn't wearing any.

"I D-D-Did that too, when I was getting excited, and started worshiping it" Sonic said. "I was going to burn them, but then I thought otherwise."

"Thought what?" Mya asked, readying a pitchfork

"That the boys would want a turn too." Sonic said, sweating his balls off.

"Sicko." Mya said. She then smacked Sonic with a twin dildo (O.O). Sonic fell on the ground in shock, then Shadow instantly disappeared. Sonic then muttered something under his breath.

"Shadow, I will get revenge." Sonic said. As soon as he said that, he was instantly chained up again, and started getting dragged by what looked like Rouge and Knuckles. He would have talked, but they stuck the dildo they found on the ground in his mouth. They then threw him up, he saw everyone (including Amy and Cream) looking at him with angry faces.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" Sonic said, extremely confused

"Sonic, we saw the video." Rouge said "Play it again Shadow" Shadow then pressed the play and the video started playing. But it wasn't the video everyone watched. Instead, the R.Kelly video started playing.

"GACK!!!!" Shadow yelled, and instantly took the tape out. He then put the other tape in.

"Do you carry that around with you?" Sonic asked Shadow

"…At least I'm not a clothes worshipper" Shadow said

"At least I'm not trying to cover up something" Sonic said

"There. It's done rewinding. Now let watch it again" Shadow said instantly, so no one could respond to what Sonic said. He then pressed play on his camera. It showed a dark figure doing something with his hands, going over to someone and pull what looked like some clothes off, and then video was cut from there.

"Sonic, we know it was it was you" Rouge said

"It wasn't me, it was the faker emo Shadow" Sonic spit out

"Sonic, it's not my fault you don't get any, but to take it out on a poor innocent beautiful young woman like Mya is wrong. Don't be mad when we castrate you for this." Shadow said

"Castrate?! Never!"

We will. And then we will kosher it, then pickle it, and I'll put it on my mantle" Shadow said, hold a loaf of bread

"That's sick" Sonic said

"What you did was sicker" Shadow said

"But it wasn't…"

"Everyone. I have additional proof to show you all" Shadow said. He then played his tape forward. The tape picked up at when "Sonic" made Shadow suck it.

"Suck it" "Sonic" said

"W-W-What" "Shadow" said

"I said suck it you little bitch" "Sonic" said, and then forced it in Shadows mouth. Everyone gasped and was in shock. (Except for Big, who stupidly said I'm horny)

"Wow that's big" Rouge complemented

"Big and Black" Knuckles added

"What's that stuff coming out of it?" Cream asked innocently "It's all over his face"

"Cream, don't worry about it" Mya said "sonic is just a perverted sicko"

B-B-But I thought…"Amy said, sobbing "You liked girls Sonic."

"I do." Sonic said "And he made me do that" Sonic said, looking at Shadow

"He made you make him suck it?" Knuckles asked him

"Yes…No…I mean just forget it" Sonic said

"No we can't forget it. Now Mya has to see a Burger King Manager for counseling, and I am traumatized for life, and had to go back to that horrid counseling office…" Shadow said, going into a flashback

_Flashback_

Shadow awaited in the school counselor's office patiently. To pass the time, he took out a homemade thumbtack shooter and started shooting the school Iguana. Finally, the counselor came in

"Hello…Shadow, right? I hear you're having trouble with other children?"

"No. We don't have any problems I think" Shadow said

"But Shadow, a recess claimed you hit another student with a liquor bottle"

"He deserved it. He would let me cheat off his survey" Shadow said

"So you hit him with a liquor bottle?" She asked

"It was either that or the crowbar." Shadow said

"Shadow were all these things with you?" She asked

"Yes"

"Why do you have them?" She asked

"For protection"

"Where do you get them from?"

"The school dumpster"

"Shadow could you possibly be less violent? I mean your already 13 in the second grade."

"Communist!!!!!!!!" Shadow yelled. He then took the chair he was sitting in, and threw it out the window. He then handcuffed the counselor to her chair, then faced her to the Iguana.

"Ziggy!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled. Shadow yelled. He then threw her chair down three flights of stairs, HE then laughed at the top of the stairs, grabbed everything he had in his cupboard, molested the teacher, then left the school.

_End Flashback_

"Then I went to a Mexican restaurant, discovered my heritage, and got a Job at Tim Horton's" Shadow said

"Sonic was extremely furious with how random it was he was at the point of watching the Flavor of Love. "Shadow, you lived on a space station for half your life. That couldn't of ever happened." Sonic said, gnawing on the chains. Shadow then looked at Sonic, then showed him the picture of the lemon again, which caused Sonic to check himself for prostate cancer. (O.O)

"Anyways Sonic, you can either get castrated, go to the horrid counseling place, or choose option number 3" Shadow said

"What would that be?" Sonic asked

"You have to admit that you go both ways, and that you had an affair with a zebra" Shadow said

"But neither of those are true" Sonic asked

"A zebra? C'mon Shadow you can do better than that" Knuckles said

"Hey at least I don't date someone outside my species." Shadow said

:At least imp dating" Knuckles said

"At least I've done it before" Shadow said, with a smirk

"At least I don't hit it and quit it" Knuckles said

"What's wrong with that?" Shadow asked

"…Shut up" Knuckles said. He then attempted to suffocate Shadow with a rubber duck but Shadow was too fast for him, and Knuckles soon had swallowed the rubber duck. As he chocked on the rubber duck, Shadow then attempted to make out with Rouge, but got the skin on his teeth pulled off. He then went for Amy, who happily made out with him for about a good 10 minutes. After they had stopped, Sonic was extremely angry, began to fight Shadow while in the chains. Shadow, frighten by the fact Sonic almost made his hand into a fist, threw an old copy of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog at Sonic.

"The waste of ink!!!!!!!!!!" Sonic yelled. He then went into a diabetic coma, Shadow then stood victorious.

"Well that menace wont mess with anyone anymore. Anyways, eh should be out for a good three hours." Shadow said. Everyone went into their corners, and awaited Sonic awakening.

**Chapter 11 is finished. I think this might be my longest chapter yet. IT was certainly an interesting, weird, and random chapter if we all agree. I did have some writers block kinda. I guess this chapter was fine. **

**P.S.-You all fell for thinking what you thought Shadow made Sonic suck. This was all part of my plan. Evil cackle**

**Review please.**


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